Negotiating Your Salary, Career, Life
Six Negotiation Tools:
1. Calm—emotion destroys negotiation, be dispassionate and empathetic.
2. Prepare—collect your thoughts, take notes before and during negotiation
3. Find Decision Maker—who signs off, responsible for budget of dept.
4. Focus on your Goals, Not on Who’s Right—what you are trying to accomplish
5. Make Human Contact—People are almost everything in negotiation. If you can't meet them in person, call before resorting to email.
6. Acknowledge Other Party’s Position and Power, Value Them—Role reversal, put yourself in their shoes; Let them talk, ask questions. Their words and perceptions are more important than yours---more you value them, the more you listen.
7. How can you help them? Use their standards to reach your goal.
1. Prepare—find out salary ranges thru recruiters, classmates, LinkedIn contacts you know, past employees. If they ask what you made or expect to make, answer with question back—what is your salary range. Understand the cumulative, lifelong impact of 1st salary.
2. Ask—Negotiate, it shows strength. If you get an offer, say thank you! Is there room to negotiate money or benefits or work schedules or projects? If it’s clear no flexibility, then ask when you will be re-evaluated and the standards used for determining a raise. Get hiring manager to be specific as possible. Follow up with confirming email.
3. Don’t Commit Immediately—tell them you need to think about the offer. If offer is low, use data to show them why it’s low. Get more details on job—responsibilities and travel before committing.
4. Prioritize—don’t come with a list of 10 items you want. Know what’s a deal breaker for you.
1. Sponsors (folks who will advocate for you), not just mentors. You need influential sponsors who can give visibility to your accomplishments and advocate for you as an organizational leader, valued employee.
2. Ask your boss(es) what job expectations are, confirm in friendly email, and update them periodically on what you’ve done. No one will know or give you credit if you keep your head down and do good work. Understand salary/compensation system in company or firm. Ask for specific criteria for raises or job promotions.
3. Give credit on emails to folks who’ve worked with you to get job done
4. Build your network early and continue to add to it.
5. Get out of the office. Avoid the good worker will get rewarded syndrome.
6. Desensitize yourself to risks, asking for what you want takes courage, speak up, and ask for stretch assignments. “What would you do if you were 10 times bolder?” Expect pushback and be prepared.
7. Everything is negotiable. “No” is just the beginning of the conversation. Don’t assume the worst or bad intentions of the other side.
1. Negotiation isn’t just for jobs and your career. It’s for the marketplace (think cell phones, credit cards, homes, goods, etc.), relationships (family, partners, spouses), travel, service providers.
2. Relationships—ground rules, tone is important, not going to solve every issue at once, everyone can’t get everything they want all the time, I’m right you’re wrong syndrome isn’t useful, whatever your belief you still respect the other’s belief, if tension develops—stop, take break and come back later.
3. Emotional payments—empathy, apology, concessions, respect, face saving, staying quiet when someone is saying mean, hurtful things, listening, valuing people. This can provide a solution to an irrational need. Emotional payments are what establish strong bonds in a relationship.
4. Trading things of unequal value can break logjam in relationships. Whether it’s cleaning, sports on TV, child care, visits to parents—there’s likely a way to trade something for what you want accomplished. Find out what each party cares for and doesn’t care about. Note to those embarking on marriage, living together, and raising children—try to get the ground rules established up front when there is still a “honeymoon”.
5. Use other’s standards to get more. Whether it’s their policy, exceptions, precedents, ways they make decisions—people will be fairer when confronted with standards (especially hard bargainers).
6. Be open, honest. It’s not about being tough or a jerk or manipulative. If you are in bad mood, too aggressive or don’t know something, say so.
7. Every situation is different, there is no one size fits all. Keep your eye on your goal—it’s about getting more (not everything). At beginning of talk, meeting, ask “What do you want at the end of this discussion that you don’t have now?”
Getting More, Stuart Diamond.
Influence, the Psychology of Persuasion, Robert Cialdini.
To Sell is Human, Daniel Pink
Power Questions, Andrew Sobel
Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Kerry Patterson